I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
