so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just want nice things and good sex
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
false alarm, still single
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
