Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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