i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
