Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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