Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
