I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
