I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
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