you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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