we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
