and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
