420 ftw
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
