i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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