There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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