i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
