And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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