just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
