he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
