is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
