break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
