I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
They are going to name an STD after you.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
