honey bunches of taint.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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