Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
