see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
