Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
