Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
