Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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