So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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