wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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