i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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