Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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