Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she told me i tasted like america
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
