did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
