who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
