Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
