Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
