so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
