Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
