so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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