this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
