Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
