i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
