WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
