Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
