never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
