it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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