I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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