Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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