the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The air was thick with penises
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
