I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
