I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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