i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
